Single in the Summer

Summer is my favorite season. There is something about summer that is different from all other seasons that makes it special -- the beach house. Perhaps it was the heat & humidity going to my head, perhaps it was all those summer romance novels I read at the beach or perhaps it was hope springing (er, summering?) eternal. As a single woman I looked forward to breaking out of my routine, leaving behind the city and heading to the shore for the weekends. Not only was it relaxing and fun to get away, let's face the real reason for getting a share in a beach house: it was an opportunity to meet new men. While NYC is a ghost town on the weekends in the summer, shares in shore houses meant expanding my social circle. You just never know who you could meet on one of your weekends, especially after downing many happy hour cocktails. The anticipation of finding a man for the summer was always exciting. Summer = hookup season and 14 weeks of partying. Plain & Simple. Start your engines! Do you feel that way about summer? I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.

I used to get a beach house with a mixture of couples and singles. The one thing I never understood about summer beach houses and couples: why when a couple is dating they eagerly buy a share for the summer, enjoying all the group BBQs, happy hours, beach outings, etc. bringing shmoopiness with them wherever they go. However, the moment they say "I do" they are no longer able to particpate in a beach share. It's as if the marrieds can no longer mingle with the singles. It used to drive me crazy. Suddenly when share time rolls around, instead of this couple being all in you get the excuses. WE may go on some trips this year. WE are really busy this summer. WE will think up another lame excuse and get back to you when it sounds believable. What do they think we are going to do to them? Corrupt them with our carefree ways? And why does a piece of paper change the way a couple thinks about a beach house? Is it that they start to think that beach houses should be segregated -- stable marrieds in one house, wild singles in the other?

What do you think? Has this happened to you? Do you think that couples change once they are newly married and can no longer enjoy the summer shares unless it is with other couples? Is it like Sex & the City used to say that single women become threats to married women? What do you think causes the change? Please write in and let me know your thoughts.

Happily Single?

I was at a family function this weekend and I was talking to one of the guests. The topic of dating came up and I told her how challenging dating can be in New York City. This woman mentioned a friend's daughter and said, "She's married. Thank God." Her comment stayed with me after our conversation. What would be so terrible if this woman wasn't married? Is her life automatically better off because she has a husband? Why does our culture automatically assume married = happiness? I don't know about you, but I know quite a few married couples who are not always happy.

Maybe it's a generational thing. Our mothers married for financial security, to have children and run a household. Options for careers were limited back then. If you weren't married by the time you were in your early 20s they called you an Old Maid. These days women have thriving careers, are responsible for their own financial security and many women I've spoken to are not sure that they want children. They want relationships; they are just not sure if they want marriage. And yet, society still makes single women feel terrible about themselves if they are not part of a couple.

One of my favorite authors, Karen Salmansohn, in her book, Even God is Single, noted: "It's interesting how our culture has the expression "happily married," but no expression "happily single."

Society equates being single with a host of bad things - unhappiness, lonliness, pickiness, selfishness and a 'what is wrong with you?' mentality. I think this is ridiculous! There are plenty of happy, thriving single people out there. I am one (most days) and am proud to know many other happy single women. In fact, US Census data shows single women now outnumber married women. We are the majority ladies! If you live in a city like New York, you are well aware of all of us single people out there - we're the ones out at the bars having all that fun, flirting shamlessly and spending our money foolishly instead of investing in a stable mutual fund :)

Have you experienced pressure from relatives and friends to "couple up?" Do you feel that you can be single and happy? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Single Woman of the Week

When my business partner and I started Swish (Single Women in Search of Happiness) , an apparel company devoted to single women, we didn't envision that our offerings would expand beyond apparel and accessories; however, we've come to realize that Swish can be more than just apparel and accessories. Being single is a lifestyle, one that has received a lot of press lately. Single women are viewed and treated differently in our society than our married counterparts. I created this blog to be a forum to discuss issues/news/rants/raves about being single women. I hope you will visit from time to time and let me know how you feel about being a single woman.

SWISH WOMAN OF THE WEEK: Reese Witherspoon

Reese Witherspoon gets my vote as a SWOTW. Reese is smart, beautiful, talented, ambitious and nice (so rare in Hollywood these days). She was married for 7 years, balanced motherhood and a career that was on the rise. She is one of the hightest paid actresses working today. In 2006 she won the Oscar for playing June Carter in Walk the Line. Things were good in Reese land. And then...rumors of a cheating husband followed by divorce! OUCH.

Reese took this in stride and didn't air the dirty laundry in public. She took a break and has emerged as a fabulous single woman and I have to say the change has been great. Did you check out how gorgeous she looked at the Oscars? The hair - love it! She has never looked better. We here at Swish support the newly single Reese Witherspoon as she re-enters single life and award her our first SWOTW. As our slogan says, Single is Fabulous!

Let me know who you think should be the next Woman of the Week and why.

Valentine's Day

Welcome to my blog! I thought that it would be appropriate to start this blog for single women on Valentine's Day, a holiday that celebrates couples in love and makes anyone who is alone feel like a loser or invisible or both. It's enough to make you want to bomb the offices at Hallmark. Why is it that we only feel self-worth when someone is in love with us?

I used to be on the Anti-Valentine's bandwagon, calling the holiday Black Wednesday, dressing in black, listening to The Smiths and boycotting all things Valentine's. Then I realized that I can treat myself to something special today because I DESERVE it. I don't need to wait for a man to do it for me. I say make the holiday your own and do something nice for yourself today. Buy flowers, chocolate, a new perfume, a sexy thong, a sushi dinner, watch When Harry Met Sally -- whatever it is that you enjoy and makes you smile. Don't wait for a man to do it (chances are he'd get it wrong anyway).

Today I brought in roses to work and went around the office giving all the women a flower. I was amazed at how happy it made everyone and how excited some women were because this was the only flower they were going to get today. I was in such a good mood for the rest of the day. Sometimes giving really is better than receiving!