I was at a family function this weekend and I was talking to one of the guests. The topic of dating came up and I told her how challenging dating can be in New York City. This woman mentioned a friend's daughter and said, "She's married. Thank God." Her comment stayed with me after our conversation. What would be so terrible if this woman wasn't married? Is her life automatically better off because she has a husband? Why does our culture automatically assume married = happiness? I don't know about you, but I know quite a few married couples who are not always happy.
Maybe it's a generational thing. Our mothers married for financial security, to have children and run a household. Options for careers were limited back then. If you weren't married by the time you were in your early 20s they called you an Old Maid. These days women have thriving careers, are responsible for their own financial security and many women I've spoken to are not sure that they want children. They want relationships; they are just not sure if they want marriage. And yet, society still makes single women feel terrible about themselves if they are not part of a couple.
One of my favorite authors, Karen Salmansohn, in her book, Even God is Single, noted: "It's interesting how our culture has the expression "happily married," but no expression "happily single."
Society equates being single with a host of bad things - unhappiness, lonliness, pickiness, selfishness and a 'what is wrong with you?' mentality. I think this is ridiculous! There are plenty of happy, thriving single people out there. I am one (most days) and am proud to know many other happy single women. In fact, US Census data shows single women now outnumber married women. We are the majority ladies! If you live in a city like New York, you are well aware of all of us single people out there - we're the ones out at the bars having all that fun, flirting shamlessly and spending our money foolishly instead of investing in a stable mutual fund :)
Have you experienced pressure from relatives and friends to "couple up?" Do you feel that you can be single and happy? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
